MEG GETS A WILD HAIR
by ziegler
Summary: WHEN MEG IS ABANDONED IN TOWN, SHE HAS NO OPTION BUT TO STEAL A CAR. SHE FEELS EXCiTEMENT AND GOES ON A STEALING RAMPAGE. HER PERSONALITY COMPLETELY CHANGES. MEANWHILE, STEWIE DISCOVERS WEED AND BECOMES AN ADDICT, BUT BRIAN MUST HELP HIM STOP.
1. Chapter 1 How it all happened

CHAPTER 1 HOW IT ALL HAPPENED

It is Sunday night and the Griffins are at the county fair all the way on the other side of town, known as East Quahog. East Quahog is a pretty dangerous place, but the fair is held there because it is cheaper to rent the lots there.

"Peter lets go home! This part of town is just too dangerous for our kids."

"Yeah dad! I don't like this at all, plus that black guy keeps staring at me," said Meg.

"What you all lookin' at? I just lookin' at that beautiful girl," said the guy.

"Are you on crack sir?" said Peter.

"Wow man that was messed up. Your daughter is a beautiful girl! She is more beautiful than the Beyonce!"

"Wow! Thank you! What is your name?"

"Tiff," said the guy.

"And on that note, let's go," said Meg.

Everyone got into the car and they drove home. Peter deiced to take highway 23, but that road is very bumpy. It was so bumpy that Meg got car sick.

"Meg that is just gross!" said Peter. "Get out of the car now!"

Meg got out of the car without fighting. She walked along the road, which is loaded with stores and restaurants. She walked until she found a car rental lot.

"I need to rent a car to get home," said Meg.

Immediately after, her cell phone rang, and it was Lois asking if she was okay, however, she wouldn't come and get her. Meg realized she didn't even have money to rent a car. She then snuck into the office, stole the keys to a Chevy Malibu, and took the car. Meg felt a sense of excitement. She realized that she liked acting out.

"I'm gonna be an even bigger crime breaker than O.J.," said Meg.

CUTAWAY

(A TV NEWS ANCH0R IS READING THE TOP STORIES) "O.J. Simpson has been charged with robbery, battery, and assault, but pretty much murder."

While driving home Meg breaks into a ton of stores and stole tons of items and cash. She felt so happy, and for the first time, felt fulfilled. She continued to steal until she robbed every store in Quahog. She drove home, ran up into her room, and enjoyed all the things she stole.

"Peter? Did you see all the things Meg took up into her room?" asked Lois.

"yeah. I saw her get all of them out of her new car."

"Peter you don't think that she sold herself?"

"Lois, Lois, Lois, no man in their right mind would want Meg. She's a bigger man than Rosie O'Donnel."

CUTAWAY

(ROSIE IS BEING INTERVIEWED WHEN HER PANTS FALL DOWN AND IT REVEALS THAT SHE HAS A PENIS AND THEN SHE SAYS THAT SHE BLAMES GLOBAL WARMING.)


	2. Chapter 2 Stewie gets up There

CHAPTER 2 STEWIE FINDS A FUNNY

The next day Stewie is wandering through Brian's things looking for the money he owes him, when he discovers weed. Stewie knew that Brian smoked it, but never really knew what it was. He took it, went into his room, and smoked some. After a couple of hours and a few useless cutaways, he finally became high. He laughed insanely loud and peed all over his walls. Brian walked in to see what was wrong. He took one look at Stewie, then he saw the empty bag of weed. He ran over to Stewie and picked him up by the collar of his shirt. He went to punch Stewie for stealing and smoking his weed, but Stewie was laughing uncontrollably and Brian did not want to hit a baby. He sat Stewie down and asked him where he found it. Stewie said that Brian needed to chill out and go with the flow. Brian did not know what to do, but he couldn't let Lois know.

"Stewie, after a while it's going to really suck. You are not going to feel better later. You are too young and it is going affect you in a very bad way."

"Oh shut up Brian. Just let loose."

"If Lois finds out she's gonna ban weed in her house and she will be more mad than Jamie Lynn Spears was when that lady told Brittany to leave.

CUTAWAY

"You are not welcome her! Leave now!" JAMIE: "You can go #%k yourself, then punch yourself, then shoot yourself, then if that doesn't kill you, you can go jump off a damn bridge!"

"Well then Stewie, if you wanna be high, then I am going to take you to a place where you can get high all you want, then we will see how you feel." said Brian.

"Where are we gonna go B to the Ry. B to the Rian. Took his B to the Ry but the An was dry?"

"Shut up Stewie."

Later that day, Brian took Stewie took Brian's dealer's house. Stewie became overwhelmed when he saw all the weed and went into a musical number. He then started smoking loads and loads. He smoked have of the weed the guy had. They were at that house for days. Stewie just seemed to be fine and the more he smoked the better he looked.

"This is too weird," said Brian.

"Yeah it is. He is only a baby. He should have died by now," said the dealer.

"What! Why didn't you say anything? He could have died!"


	3. Chapter 3 Meg and her new Style

CHAPTER 3 MEG AND HER NEW STYLE

Meg has now adopted this new style of crime. Feeling so much better about herself, she changed her image. She put on better clothes, redid her hair, and used makeup.

"Hey guys what do you think?"

"Holy crap Meg? What did you do? You look all hot now!" said Peter.

"Wow Meg! I always knew you could be pretty if you tried. You are prettier than Brittany Spears. Now you need to do something about your weight and do something about your body hair." said Lois.

"Mom, you can be a b&%#! I already took care of the body hair and I'm starting a diet!"

What Lois and Peter did not know, was that Meg stole all those clothes and everything else she used to redo her image. Meg was now going to drive her stolen car to Connie's party, which she was not invited to. She actually had the courage to go and crash her party.

"Oh my gosh! Meg you look hot!" said Connie.

As she walked by the football team, they all stared at her. She then got some punch, threw it on Connie, and kicked the football players in the nuts.

"Yeah Meg!" shouted numerous people.

Meg then left the room, but only to steal jewelry, silver, and any other expensive items. She left the party to go rob a jewelry store and break into a few houses. Meg has really changed and her new attitude shocked everyone including her parents.

"Meg? Have you been working nights?" asked Lois.

Meg wanted to say no, but what else would she tell Lois?

"Yeah mom I have!"

"Well that's good, because I thought you were stealing," exclaimed Lois.

"I'm sexier than Billy Mays."

CUTAWAY

"Billy Mays here! I'm here to present to you….. (Peter walks on screen) Oh my gosh! Do you ever shut up! We do not need these stupid products and these damn commercials do not have to be so long! You sir are a douche bag and you need to go away. Oh wait! You have not told us how much the item cost yet! But I already know! $19.99 Man! Get a real job! BILLY: well screw you man! PETER: Oh wait, if I punch you now, I will get another of whatever you are trying to f#$%&* sell. Folks, tune in to TBS and you can watch four hours of me instead of this guy! BILLY: But I am no…… PETER: I said shut up sir.

"Meg, Billy Mays is ugly and annoying!" yelled Peter.

"You are so gay dad!"

Meg then went up to room to redecorate it with all the things she stole. Meg was so happy she didn't even realize that she was doing anything wrong. She didn't even expect that the police would arrest her. But later she will get herself into some hot water.


	4. Chapter 4 Stewie's Adventure

CHAPTER 4 STEWIE'S ADVENTURE

Stewie now addicted to weed, Brian cannot stop him. He just decides to let Stewie go until he cannot anymore. Stewie has become so high that he can barely talk. It won't be long before Stewie starts to hulicinate and wake up in an evil world that treats people very bad. Brian is starting to freak out because he has smoked so much and Brian has no idea what this is doing to Stewie. He tried to pick up Stewie and leave but Stewie had bitten him and told him to stay away. Being a baby, his body cannot take the large amounts of weed he has smoked. He cannot even set up a simple cutaway gag!

"I'm higher than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, um, um, well, here is a list of celebrities I hate: all of them!" said Stewie.

Stewie became so high that he went into an imaginery land.

"Ohhhhhh…..Where am I? What the hell is this place?

"You're in Poopoloopa land, where you poop where you puke and you puke where you poop," said a stubby purple thing.

"I'm the Douche, and that's Dick. Dick is a queermosexual," said the Douche.

"How did I get here?" asked Stewie.

"When you smoke the weed, you uproot the seed."

"Then you fall inside, and you feel like you died."

"Then you land here, to meet me!"

"That was gaouyo……" Stewie attempted to say.

"In Poopoloopa land, you can't say words like gay. If we catch you, we use our special powers to stop you."

"I want Brian! Now!" yelled Stewie.

"Oh your little friend can't come to our world because we kill dogs in Poopoloopa land."

"Really?"

"Well, yes, but this place is imaginery and no dogs have been killed." said the Douche.

"I want to go home. This place is too freaky! It's freakier than that tiger who used to live under my bed.

CUTAWAY

"Hey kid, when you go to sleep I'm going to stick these frosted flakes where the sun don't shine. It will be GREEAAATTT!!!!!" said Tony the Tiger.

"When will I be able to go home?"

"No one ever leaves this place until they become less high and are able to accept reality. You could be here for hours or minutes, depending on how much you smoked!"

"But I do not remember how much I smoked," said Stewie.

"That is why it is so great. The rest of your time here will be a living hell! (evil laughs) (Stewie's screams)

"Somebody help me!"

"Wow! Why is he shaking like that?" asked Brian.

"Oh, he is just hulicinating. Once he becomes less high, he will snap back into reality." said the dealer.

"Oh, well as long as nothing is wrong with him," said Brian.

With Stewie stuck in an imaginery world, he continues to freak out. Brian becomes more scared and fears that Lois will become suspiscous. It has been a few days since they have been home.


	5. Chapter 5 Meg Flees

CHAPTER 5 MEG FLEES

Meg has completely changed and has become an insane thief and has completely changed her style. She has stolen so much but no one knows that she is the one committing all of the crimes. She has been at it for days and she has even managed to become popular and has been crashing parties left and right. Lois thinks that she has been doing other things and making money to buy all of the things she has stole. Meg has not even stopped to think that she will get into big trouble for stealing. She is just too caught up in all of the excitement to think of what consequences she will have to pay when she does get caught.

"What a rush! I have never felt so good!" Meg told her friend on the phone.

"Well Meg, you have impressed me by robbing all these stores and taking all that stuff!" said Meg's friend on the phone.

Little did Meg know, Chris was listening in on the call. He was convinced to tell his parents but then he forgot he had to set up a cutaway and forgot about everything.

CUTAWAY

CHRIS: "How can you watch Phineas and Ferb Meg?

THE SHOW: "Watcha' doin'?" asked Isabella. "Havin' sex!" responded Phineas.

"Meg, to become the leader of the group, you need to rob every single store in the mall," said her friend on the phone.

Later that night Meg prepared to leave to rob every store in the mall. She created plans and ways to get into some of the stores. After that she snuck out, and took her stolen car to the mall. She arrived at the mall and spray painted all the cameras outside black. She then disabled the alarm system and broke through the doors. She went up to all cameras and spray painted them black. She then went to rob the first set of stores. After that, she continued to rob every store on the first floor. She accidentally turned on the alarm at Aeropostale, but she was quick to turn it off before anyone showed up. She heard police sirens, but they were going up the K Mart, which was getting robbed at the same time. But then she heard sirens right outside the mall. She quickly ran off and managed to escape. What she did not know that the police had spotted her.

She went to her friend's house to show her that she had almost robbed the whole mall. While at her friend's house she heard police sirens. She quickly escaped in her Malibu and drove to Canada. She drove for hours until she found a hotel called "The Dion". She got a room and settles in. it was now hitting her that she had to pay the price for what she did. She didn't want to hide forever, so she decided that tomorrow she would go back to the states and turn herself in.

The next day she left Canada and after she entered the U.S. she was pulled over by a cop. The cop had spotted her and she was arrested.

She went to court a few days later and was sentenced a life term in prison and she had to be Rosie O' Donnel's personal assistant. She was then escorted to the prison and put in her cell. Only an hour after she got there a fire broke out. The fire spread so fast that everyone had to evacuate immediately. While she was trying to get out she noticed a prison guard trapped by the fire. She wanted to leave but then remembered a time when her mom saved Joe and she was let off with good behavior. She then tried to walk through the thick smoke to get over to the trap guard. Fire had spread right in front of her, almost stopping her, but she was able to get around the fire and got to the trapped guard. She managed to get over to him. He had almost passed out from the smoke and Meg had to throw him over her shoulders. She then managed to get around the fire and escape the burning prison. When she put the almost dead guard on the ground he told her that she would be set free on good behavior. She then called paramedics over to take care of the guard. After he was treated he was able to function normally.

Meg and the officer went to court immediately after the fire. The judge agreed to let Meg off with good behavior but she had to do something for the judge.

CUTAWAY

(THE JUDGE IS LYING IN BED UNDERNEATH THE COVERSAND MEG IS STANDING BESIDE THE BED.)

"You read?" asked the judge.

"Yep," said Meg.

She then started reading him a bedtime story and then gave him a glass of water. She kissed him on the cheek and tucked him in properly.

After all that Meg was on her way home. She had no idea how she was going to face Lois and Peter. She then decided to return back to her old self, that way they wouldn't care because she would be too ugly. She went to a salon to have her hair cut and returned to its original form. She then went to get her old clothes back. After all of these things she returned home.


	6. Chapter 6 Stewie Comes Back

CHAPTER 6 STEWIE COMES BACK

Stewie has been trapped in Poopoloopa land and is desperate to leave and go home. He tries everything to escape. In the meantime, Brian is becoming worried and really wants to get home.

"I want to leave now," said Stewie.

"You cannot leave. I told you this already. Now for your punishment you must watch this Andy Dick video."

"No, no, I hate Andy Dick," said Stewie.

"Stewie managed to escape and started to run, but realized there was no place to run to. The Douche then used his powers to capture Stewie and bring him back.

"You cannot escape my powers. You are stuck here now."

"Oh come on! I have been here for hours."

Actually in the real world, it has only been a few minutes, so you have a long time to go before you will be able to leave Poopoloopa land."

"BRIAN! BRIAN! BRIAN!"

"Scream all you want, no one is going to come and get you."

"He is screaming my name!" exclaimed Brian. "What should I do?"

The dealer said, "Do nothing. He has to come out of it on his own."

Brian said, "This is more messed up than the swine flu outbreak."

CUTAWAY

(PETER IS GOING TO EGAS AND IS GETTING READY TO GET ON HIS FLIGHT.)

"Lois, with my luck I am going to be sitting in between a pig farmer and a f&%$#* Mexican."

"Peter, that is terrible. Well have a good time."

(PETER IS SITTING ON A PLANE AND A PIG FARMER AND A MEXICSN SIT DOWN NEXT TO HIM.)

"Oh what the hell, come on."

Stewie then started to come out of his high. A white hole started to appear in front of him.

"Well it looks like it is time for you to leave."

Stewie jumped through the hole and came back to reality. He agreed that he would never smoke again and then him and Brian went home.


	7. Chapter 7 Meg Returns

CHAPTER 7 MEG RETURNS

As Meg was released from prison, she changed her look back to the way it used to be and went home.

"Mom, dad, I am home."

"Meg! I am so hap….. oh. What the hell Meg," said Peter.

"I know! I am back to my normal self!" exclaimed Meg.

"Well now I have no care for you," said Peter.

"Peter! You need to have more respect for your daughter," said Lois.

"Mom, I am sorry I was such a bad girl. It just felt so good. But I learned that I need to express myself more no matter what I have to do. But now I am just glad to be home," said Meg.

"Well Meg it is nice to have you home. And, well, I guess you are right." said Lois.

"Well I am not glad she is back," said Peter. This is more of a disappointment than the time I met Jared from Subway."

CUTAWAY

"Wow! You are Jared! Can I have that sandwich?" asked Peter.

"No! Get your own!"

"Well f%$# you!" yelled Peter.

"I used to be a fat ass like you, but now I am too busy looking great and eating my sandwiches to care about others," said Jared.

"Now if Stewie and Brian would just come back home! They have been gone for days and I need some of Brian's weed," said Lois.

"Oh, I got a letter from Brian saying that he Stewie to an amusement park. Hey Lois I have a joke for you. Why did Michael Jackson close his amusement park. (Lois does not know) Because it was 13 years old," said Peter.

"Peter, you say that joke everyday and I am tired of it. You are such a moron. It is like being married to a five year old. I can't believe you are like this!" said Lois.

"Lois not now. One Tree Hill is on," said Peter.

"Come on Peter," yelled Lois.

"Shut up!" yelled Peter.

"Come on Meg lets go get something to eat," said Lois.

"Wow, thanks mom."

"Don't get used to this," said Lois.

They went into the kitchen and had lunch together and then Brian and Stewie came home and everyone forgot about Meg.

"THE END," said Peter. Seriously, turn off the TV now. Do it now. Turn off the damn TV douchebag! Turn off the damn television because the show is over!"


End file.
